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16 December 2009 @ 09:30 am

Welcome to all of the new people who’ve started reading over the past weeks/months.  Please feel free to say hi and introduce yourselves!  Or not, if you prefer.  It’s all good.

Today I’m going to point folks to the guest blog post I did at Grasping for the Wind.  From time to time, readers will ask me where they should go to buy an author’s books.  Does it really matter if you buy from Amazon or the local independent?  Click over to GftW for my response.

And just because I haven’t done it in a while, have another LEGO pic.  Many of you should recognize Crow and Tom Servo from Mystery Science Theater.  These were built by Christopher Doyle at Reasonably Clever, which is a fun little site and worth checking out.  Click the pic for the step-by-step on the ‘bots.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

 
 

<3 Today we finally saw the last of the mountain of pre-ordered books off to the Post Office! Thank you to all of our helpers, and to the wonderful customers who were so patient with us. Whew. --Kaja <3


 
 
15 December 2009 @ 09:00 am

From time to time, I get an e-mail or a comment from male readers who enjoyed my goblin books, but are hesitant to pick up Stepsister Scheme or Mermaid’s Madness because they look like they’re for girls.

My reaction to this is all over the place.  The goblin books went over well with younger boys, and I can understand why a teenage boy might be hesitant to walk around with a book that has three women surrounded by swirling pastels on the cover.  I also think it sucks that we’re still raising boys to think it’s shameful to be caught reading something “feminine,” but having been a teenage male myself, I can understand that reluctance.

I like the cover for Mermaid better, less because we lost the pastels, and more because I think it’s just a great image.  But I still get the questions.  This is obviously a book about three girls, so doesn’t that mean it’s written for girls?  (Much as Name of the Wind was written for red-haired boys, and the Zombie Raccoons anthology was written for decaying scavengers.)

I’ve said in multiple interviews that I wrote Stepsister for my daughter, in response to the Disney/Barbie princess infestation we went through at the house.  So in a way, these books are written for girls.  Or at least for one girl.  Which means … what, exactly?  I don’t even know what a “girly book” is.  I assume it’s shorthand along the lines of:

Boy Books = Action/Adventure; Girl Books = Romance
Boy Books = Plot/Idea-centric; Girl Books = Character-centric
Boy Books = Explody things on the cover; Girl Books = Chicks and pastels

There’s value in being able to find the kind of books you want.  If you’re into character-oriented fiction, you want to be able to discover those books in the store.  You don’t want to buy a book, take it home, and discover that what you thought was an action-packed vampire adventure is actually a 400-page relationship angst-fest.  I get that.  But trying to classify those preferences by gender, with all of the stereotyping and judgement that goes with that?  It doesn’t work for me.

Josh Jasper wrote a piece over at Genreville about genre shame, and about being male and reading romance novels.  “Why should I be ashamed of reading something fun when women aren’t?  The answer is that I’m afraid of being judged by people I don’t know, whose opinions don’t really matter, about something they have no real business judging me over.  Social conditioning is strange and stupid.”

When you ask me if Mermaid and Stepsister are girly books, the answer is that I don’t even know what that means.  I don’t want to know.  I can’t tell you whether or not you’ll like the books, but I can try to give you an idea what they’re about and let you make your own decision.  In a nutshell, the princess series is about:

Fighting and magic and family and fairies and revenge and unrequited love and requited love and hairy trolls and sailing and a three-legged cat and flying horses and wolves and drunk pixies and sewer goblins and enchanted swords and mermaids and friendship and ghosts and strong women and not-so-strong women and also some men and birds and rats and lots of ass-kicking.

It’s bad enough we still try to force people into fairly rigid gender roles.  Do we really have to do it to books too?

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

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14 December 2009 @ 09:00 am

Saturday was my wife’s birthday, so much of the weekend was spent doing things like making breakfast for her and the family, going out to birthday dinner with my parents, then going out to lunch the next day and watching a movie with just the two of us.  As a result, I spent zero time on things writing-related.  Nothing on Snow Queen, nothing on the new series proposal, and nothing for the blog.

Instead, have a picture of Flit with multicolored eyes beneath the Snoopy-infested Christmas tree.  (Is anyone really surprised by the Snoopy addiction?)

And as long as I’m posting pics, here’s the artwork Socchan did from my story “The Creature in Your Neighborhood.”  She drew this during my reading at Icon, and I’m most impressed.  That’s Rolly (after his breakdown), the Mall Rats, Peter the Pretendisaurus, and poor Tommy the Tuba.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

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13 December 2009 @ 09:08 pm
"Where The Wild Things Are" was absolutely beautiful and brilliant! It eschews the long-standing tradition that children's films have to be massively fast-paced and, instead, deals with children on their own level by dealing with themes that 8-year-olds deal with intellectually.

Then again, as [info]foeclan said on the drive back from the theater, "Let's face it: this film was made for 30-year olds who loved the book when they were kids." :)

I loved it!

Yours,
Sylvan (Dave)
 
 
Current Mood: pleased
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13 December 2009 @ 05:25 pm

<3 I hope you enjoyed our Holiday Break. I know we did. And now, it's the first page of Volume Ten!--Kaja <3


 
 
13 December 2009 @ 02:00 pm
After all this time and effort I discovered something about the scanner plugs. The part that would plug into the computer is too big. Ah well.

I still appreciate the effort put into getting it to me, Jomo. If a solution can't be figured out I guess we'll need to figure out how to get it back to you ^.^;
 
 
13 December 2009 @ 08:10 am
I've been having quite a few nightmares of late; they've been the sort in which family or family-situations figure prominently. Last night was a doozy. I'm not going to recount it, here save to say that it involved me doing something wholly out-of-character and nearly getting caught by police, family, and close friends. I woke up just before everything hit the fan, news media on the scene with police and friends around me and family just about to drive down the hill from my old house in the old neighborhood.

Other nightmares of late involved relatives I have loved who are now gone. It's been like this for two weeks.

I can't think straight and I'm starting to dread going to sleep at night.

I've started to try and find excuses to stay up later and later, listening to "This American Life" or whatever I can on my computer rather than go to sleep.

This is my mind that's doing this to me but I'm starting to feel like it's some alien beast I can't control. I mean, at least I used to be able to at least get some sleep on the weekends but -no- now even that's being denied me!

I've got to get some breakfast; my stomach's killing me.

Talk, later.

-Dave
 
 
Current Mood: exanimate
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12 December 2009 @ 01:48 pm
Ahhh... I remember this well: John Denver and the Muppets singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas":

Yours,
Sylvan (Dave)
 
 
Current Mood: chipper
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12 December 2009 @ 01:32 pm
I'm not one of those who hates Rachael Ray. She doesn't really bug me. Today, however, she demonstrated a really bad cooking skill: seafood. I mean, she really, really got something wrong and sold it on her show as being the "right" way to do it.

In cooking shellfish like shrimp and scallops the general knowledge -as well as my personal experience- is to cook them for a short period of time or for a long period of time to avoid the meat becoming tough and chewy. Anything in between results in rubber bands.

She prepared two dishes, today, that violated this fundamental concept and it bugged me enough to post about it, here.

Well, she also did another thing that I have to question: she took an ingredient like scallops -a delicately flavored ingredient, to be sure- and marinated/doused them in ginger, garlic, brown sugar, and balsamic vinegar. Sure, I like those flavors, but they would completely overwhelm something like a scallop! Then, to wrap them in pepper bacon ... GAH!

Ok, here we go...

Recipe one of her 30-minute Holiday meal was a shrimp pasta dish. She cooked a nice broth (very watery; that's fine) and cooked the pasta in it which would infuse the noodles with the flavor. I like this idea: pretty good. What I didn't like is that she put the raw shrimp into the fully flavored liquid before the noodles and cooked the shrimp pretty thoroughly, first! She then added the noodles, later. Essentially, when you have noodles cooking for 12-14 minutes at a low boil, this is going to make your shrimp very rubbery. It's not going to be good! To fix her recipe all you would have to do is add the shrimp about 2-3 minutes before the end of cooking: that's it! ARGH!

Recipe two of this half-hour disaster was the bacon-wrapped scallop dish. She pressed some slices of water chestnuts against the scallops for some crunch and wrapped them in half-slices of thick, pepper bacon. As I said, above, the latter (along with the marinade) would totally destroy the delicate flavor of the sweet scallop! But even then she put them in the oven! She toothpicked each morsel together and oven-roasted them at 450 degrees for 10 minutes. I'm not convinced that this is entirely within the range of safety for the scallops. Normally, when you want to do bacon-wrapped scallops, you tie them with string and sear them in a very hot skillet on the stove (thus protecting the scallop from direct heat) and cooking the pork, through. Cooking thick-slice bacon in an oven (which is the method I normally use) takes about 18 minutes at 425 ... and that doesn't include having them wrapped around a moisture-rich object like a scallop.

I understand she's trying to do things in 30 minutes ... it's her shtick. But you don't drown delicate flavors in too-powerful sauces and cook seafood for too long to get there!

Grrr...

If you teach people stuff on TV, please try to teach them correctly!

Yours,
Sylvan (Dave)
 
 
Current Mood: annoyed
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11 December 2009 @ 09:00 am

Zombie Miss Muffet
by Jim C. Hines

Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet
eating her old friend Trey.

Along came a spider
who sat down beside her
and squish – she had spider paté.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

 
 
10 December 2009 @ 06:37 pm

<3 I stuck a bunch of our latest news under the cut, please have a look! --Kaja <3


 
 
10 December 2009 @ 09:00 am

• I’ve got a book signing 12/17 at 7:00 at Nicola’s Books in Ann Arbor.  Just in case any of you A2 folks need Christmas gift ideas :-)  The last time I did an Ann Arbor signing, we got one of the nastiest blizzards I can remember.  I’m hoping this doesn’t become a pattern.

Dragovianknight made this wonderful Christmas LJ icon from the cover of Mermaid.  I love it!

• For those of you who read electronically, Fictionwise is running a pretty nice sale.  Looks like 40% off of short fiction, and 50% rebates on e-books.  (Including my own stuff.)

#

Came across a post responding to the pay rate discussion and protesting how the snobby pros are pulling up the ladder, trying to keep new writers out.  I know a fair number of successful authors these days, and the idea that pro writers are scared of the newbies and spending all this time and energy working to exclude them … is kind of dumb.

Of all the things I worry about, of all the things that can hurt my career, new  writers don’t even make the footnotes.  Many pro authors go out of their way to try to help new writers, and to repay the help we received.  Most either celebrate the success of the new folks, or else simply don’t have the time or the interest to notice them.  But nobody’s trying to keep the newbies down (no matter how much Publish America and their ilk try to convince you otherwise while they take your money).

How can I put this delicately?  The biggest reason it’s so hard for new writers to break in is because most of us suck when we’re new.  Myself included.  I wrote hundreds of thousands of words of utter crap while learning how to do this.  Sure, I was discouraged by all the rejection.  I felt shut out.  I had my days where I felt like a martyr and a victim.

But believe me, it had nothing to do with pros being scared of me as a newbie, or conspiring to keep the good markets all to themselves.  It had nothing to do with editors only buying work from Big Names.  It had to do with the fact that my work wasn’t good enough yet.1

If you disagree with what folks are saying, that’s one thing.  Sometimes the pros are wrong.  Do your research and make your own decisions.  But if you’re going to argue, please try to come up with something better than The Grand Conspiracy Against New Writers.

  1. Ann Leckie wrote a very good post deconstructing the “write better” advice, including some of the assumptions and flaws with that advice.  Worth reading.  http://ann-leckie.livejournal.com/141905.html

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

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<3 Hey, now you can find "Kaja & Phil Foglio" on Facebook, as well as "Girl Genius Webcomic" and I'm working on DeviantArt...--Kaja <3


 
 
08 December 2009 @ 10:00 am

I’m reminded once again that conflict and drama make popular blog topics.  Therefore, I feel it’s time for me to announce my newest project, an unauthorized anthology of Twilight fiction titled Fuschia Eclipse.1

The project will be published by Penguin Droppings, a revolutionary new self-publishing branch of Penguin.2  Publishing is changing, and it’s time to do away with the gatekeepers of traditional publishing and make way for the new millennium!

I had originally hoped to be able to pay contributors a token rate of 1/20th of a cent per word3, but after reviewing the Penguin Droppings contract, it turns out contributors will end up owing me $500 per story.  However, they will all receive one contributor copy and Valuable Exposure!

I’ll only be inviting white male authors for this volume.4 5  But I want to assure everyone I’m neither sexist nor racist.  I don’t see race or gender; all I care about is the story!  It’s not my fault the only truly great literature comes from white penises!

I’m already working on the cover art.  I’m thinking something tabloid-style, maybe Jacob Black fighting some vampire raccoons and zombie bunnies?6  All I know is that, for marketing purposes, Jacob will be portrayed by a pale blond kid.7

  1. Russet Moon Summary - http://blog.fanhistory.com/?p=532
  2. See Jackie Kessler’s posts on the Harlequin self-publishing fiasco - http://www.jackiekessler.com/blog/
  3. Short fiction pay rate conversation - http://jimhines.livejournal.com/479488.html
  4. Mammoth Anthology of Mindblowing SF - http://www.sfsignal.com/archives/2009/08/toc-the-mammoth-book-of-mindblowing-sf-edited-by-mike-ashley/
  5. Publishers Weekly’s Top 10 Books of 2009 - http://jimhines.livejournal.com/475502.html
  6. Zombie Rabbit Cover of Doom - http://jimhines.livejournal.com/469403.html
  7. White-washed cover of Justine Larbalestier’s Liar - http://justinelarbalestier.com/blog/2009/07/23/aint-that-a-shame/

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

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07 December 2009 @ 05:12 pm
I have three anonymous snowflake gifts that make me feel all special.

And the best part about virtual snowflake cookies is that I am not tempted to eat them because I am probably allergic to the frosting, anyway. YAY!

Thank you so much Anonymous Cookie-Givers!
 
 
07 December 2009 @ 09:30 am

A week or so back, John Scalzi tore into Black Matrix Publishing for their short fiction pay rate of 1/5 of a cent per word.  Black Matrix responded, explaining that this is a “labor of love.” They never implied that they were a pro market, and isn’t a token payment better than none at all? (I believe Publish America uses the same rationalization with their $1 advance.) Scalzi promptly shredded their arguments.

Cat Valente weighed in as a “mid-career author” who writes a lot of short fiction.  Sarah Monette offered a third perspective, including examples of her own fiction which sold for fairly low rates, and a discussion of when and why she chooses to submit her work to semi-pro markets.

Looking at my own bibliography, there are two stories I received no payment for, and at least a half-dozen more that fall into the semi-pro category, whether that’s a $5 flat rate or a penny a word.  A careful reading will also show that this stopped around the end of 2003, after I “sold” a flash piece to a royalties-only e-book that, as far as I can tell, never sold a single copy.

Around 2004, I began submitting only to markets that paid SFWA pro rates (Then three cents a word. ETA: Current SFWA pro rate is 5 cents/word). Not because I was insulted by lesser pay rates.  Not because I felt exploited by the smaller markets.  But because my goal as a writer was to be read.

Publishing in those smaller venues was good for my ego.  Of course it feels better to be accepted than rejected.  But aside from that ego boost, those sales did little else for my stories or my career.  Sure, I could go out and buy a slice of pizza with my earnings.  But almost nobody read my work.

The contributors got their copy, so it’s possible some of my fellow authors glanced at my story.  Maybe.  (Authors, how many of you read every story in every contributor copy of an anthology or magazine?)  Aside from that?  Well, one friend in college did pick up a copy of World Wide Writer, so that’s something, right?  What’s World Wide Writer, you ask?  Oh, right.  They were a tiny startup ‘zine that died after two issues.

I don’t use pay rate as an absolute rule.  Sure I’d rather make $250 than $25.  But I sold a story to Andromeda Spaceways recently, and they pay significantly less than 5 cents/word.  On the other hand, they’ve been around a long time, put out a nice magazine, and have a good reputation and readership for a semi-pro.  There are a handful of others, publications that pay less than pro rates, but have earned a lot of critical acclaim or developed a broader readership.

In general though, minuscule pay rate correlates to minuscule readership.  I suspect there are more markets listed on the for-the-luv page at Ralan than there are readers for those markets.

When I started aiming for pro markets in 2004, several things happened.  I got rejected more.  I was forced to improve as a writer.  And eventually, as I broke into those markets, more people began reading my work.

Is Black Matrix exploiting writers? Token payment is better than nothing. (Chtulhu spare us from markets promising “exposure” as compensation.)  But there’s “token” and there’s “spare change I found in my sofa.”1 I don’t believe Black Matrix is trying to scam anyone.  But I won’t submit to them, and I wouldn’t recommend them as a market for new writers who want to build a career and be read.

  1. Deleted for unnecessary snark.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

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06 December 2009 @ 06:46 am
A Yuletide Greeting from BBC One and the Doctor:
 
 
Current Mood: amused
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04 December 2009 @ 09:00 am

Three Dead Mice
by Jim C. Hines

Three dead mice.
Three dead mice.
Hear how they moan.
Hear how they moan.
They all chased after a bloke named Pat.
He caved in their skulls with a cricket bat.
If only he’d noticed that undead rat
behind the mice
who nipped him twice.


If any of my artistically inclined readers are interested in doing sketches to go with these, please let me know.  No pay or anything like that — it’s all for the sheer, morbid fun.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.